Rinse and dry a large head of cauliflower.

Cut up the head of cauliflower into florets.

Put the cauliflower florets into the food processor and pulse it until it becomes a rice-like consistency.

Transfer the riced cauliflower into a container or cookie sheet. Cover with paper towels and press all of your body weight on top of the cauliflower. The idea is to drain as much water as possible from it.

It should look a little bit like short-grain rice once you've finished.

Slice some bacon into very thin strips.

Put the bacon pieces into a pan over medium high heat.

Cook the bacon, stirring often, until the pieces are extra crispy.

Once the bacon is nice and crispy, you can remove it from the pan. Put it on some paper towels to dry off and crisp up even more. Keep some of the bacon fat in the pan.

Put the cauliflower in the bacon fat and allow it to cook for a moment. Add the soy sauce and fish sauce to the cauliflower fried rice and mix it well.

Push the cauliflower off to the side and add the sesame oil, scallions, garlic, and ginger. Allow this to cook for a minute, then mix everything together well. You can add your pepper at this point. I usually go pretty heavy with the pepper, because it adds a nice flavor.

Push your mixture off to the side and add the scrambled eggs to the pan.

You want the eggs to get to an omelet consistency, so allow them to cook through before you flip them to cook more. Once the eggs are cooked, break them up into small pieces and mix with fried cauliflower.

Add your bacon. Stir everything well and serve!